I Can't Just Forget
by PrincessxThexRipper
Summary: Takeshi is killed on a mission, how does Hayato deal?-Character death-8059-Angst-Pain-Dark!Hayato


_**Really depressing 8059 fic. I love this to death. I hope you enjoy, maybe even shed a few tears.**  
_

* * *

_Where's Hayato? Is he okay? Where am I? Why is it so dark...? It hurt so badly just a moment ago… but I feel fine now. Is that Asari? My ancestor? _

_ I opened my eyes a little, blinking at the light, seeing sea green eyes staring down at me with tears in them. Ah, thank god, he's okay. Why is he crying? Why can't I move? I open my eyes again and this time the pain rushes back, choking me like the air was vacuumed from my lungs. _

_ "Don't! No! Don't leave me!"_

_ I'm not going anywhere... I can't even move. Don't cry! Please... I always hated seeing you cry. "Hayato, I love you." My voice sounds like that? So choked and strained... I open my eyes a final time to see him crying harder than ever._

_ "I love you too."_

_ Then, everything went black._

* * *

_How ironic, it's raining. Of course it would rain today, of all days. The day of his funeral._

Hayato's tears may have been masked by the rain, but everyone could see and sense and see the look of distress on him; pure pain.

"Hayato, it's time for us to go." The tenth's low voice rang in his ear, quiet enough for only him to hear.

"Go on home without me, I'm not leaving." he replied, he wasn't leaving Takeshi's grave until he was damned ready.

"Hayato, it's pouring out, and everyone agrees a storm will begin soon." So much irony.

"Juudaime, I don't care. I said I'm not leaving." The storm guardian's voice was nearly a growl. He fell to his knees in the mud, his palms pressed against the tombstone. He pressed his forehead to it as well and sobbed. "Takeshi.."

Tsuna could sense his guardian needed to be alone. "I'll have a car waiting."

The storm didn't reply, he just continued to cry. He cried over the loss of his lover, the loss of his best friend... the loss of his rain.

It was past midnight, after Hayato sent the car home and walked through the raging storm. He walked directly into their- wait no... Into his bedroom, cheeks pink and nose red. He stripped off all of his clothing, padding into the bathroom and turning on the shower. He let the blistering hot water cascade over his body.

___He always took cold showers... claimed they reminded him of the rain._

It was cold then, he'd switched the knob. He just wanted the pain to go away. He never wanted to forget him, ever. _Never... don't ever let yourself forget him._ He looked down at his hands, on his right hand, was his storm ring, and the others, but on his left ring finger sat the Vongola Rain Ring. _His ring._ It sat beside his box animal ring, _Jirou… _Hayato grew the urge to hit something, but just settled for screaming. The pain was building up and he didn't know what to do... He could only do, what Storm does best, he could rage.

He allowed his mind the torture of remembering how it happened.

_There was blood everywhere, it was over, and the other family had lost. I looked back, I wanted to see Takeshi's grin after the stressful and difficult fight. But Takeshi wasn't behind me. "Takeshi?" I called out, running to the mass with the Shigure Kintoki beside it. No... This wasn't happening. Takeshi wasn't dead. I lifted the face of the body, placing it on my lap, then checking for vital signs. He had a faint heartbeat, and opened his eyes a little. "Don't! No! Don't leave me!" I screamed, tears in my eyes._

_"Hayato... I love you." Takeshi's voice sounded so dead, lifeless. He sounded like he was in pain._

_"I love you too." I whispered back, crying harder than what should be physically possible. He took a deep breath, and his body went limp. "NO! Takeshi! FUCK!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, letting out a wail of pure anguish and despair. _

_Ryohei grabbed me and started pulling me off of him. So much blood, so much blood... "He's lost and extreme amount of blood! But I'll do my best, Hayato." I released Takeshi's body, hoping maybe he can save him. But in all actuality, I knew my rain was gone. I fled from the building, I never ran from anything, but staring at his broken, battered body was going to kill me. I ran and ran, I had no clue where I thought I was going, but I kept running. I ended up in a park._

_Anywhere, but here. No, not here! I looked around me, this park... This is where I told him I loved him._

* * *

It was raining, but they always came here in the rain. "Tch, yakyuu baka..." Hayato looked at his lover, still calling him by the affectionate nickname from junior high. Even five years later, he still used it.

The brunette smiled down at him, the rain pelting them both, a storm was brewing. "What is it, 'Dera?" he'd developed his own nickname for the silverette.

"I…" He began, he was nervous. The idiot had told him many, many times, but he'd never been the one to say it first. "Aishiteru..." he mumbled out the words, partially hoping the rain covered them. A light blush on his cheeks as lightning struck, causing him to jump a bit, clinging to the taller boy.

"Hayato..." Takeshi mumbled, lifting the boy's chin to look into those teal eyes that he loved dearly. "I love you, too."

Hayato stood on his toes to kiss him, kuso, he hated being so much shorter than the baseball idiot.

* * *

_"I hate this place!" I screamed, the memory tearing my heart to bits. I felt like I was being suffocated. Storm clouds brewed overhead. "How appropriate." I threw my head back and let the droplets hit my face, mixing with Takeshi's blood and my own tears. "I love you." I whispered my sob to the rain, as if he could hear me through it. Maybe he could, he was a rain guardian, after all._

_I didn't go home that night._

* * *

Hayato didn't even notice how badly he was shivering until he opened his eyes. He could feel the beginning of hypothermia setting in as he got out and dressed himself in Takeshi's sleeping pants. He collapsed onto their, _no, his_, bed. He hated how it still smelled like fresh rain, like _him_. He lifted his hands over his face again, examining the rings. The ring on his left hand served as the perfect reminder for what they _could have had, _what they_ should have had, _and what they_ would have had; _but didn't, because he was gone. He let his hands drop as another memory flooded in, bitter-sweet and painful.

* * *

_Hayato was laying on Takeshi's bare chest, the year they turned seventeen. They'd just physically consummated the relationship, meaning they had sex. Hayato hadn't been expecting it, though they'd been together for a little over a few years. He didn't know what to do with how he felt. "W-what now…?"_

_The brunette took the bomber's hand, and kissed his knuckles. "Well…you're important… so for my whole life, I'll care for you."_

* * *

He woke up with tears in his eyes. "Takeshi!" He gasped for air, the dream had been so real, he could feel Takeshi's embrace, see his eyes. He could smell the scent of fresh rain off his skin. "Damn, I hate dreaming."

He got up, dressing and walking out, he was on his way to Tsuna's office. Just before he knocked, he heard something that'd caught his attention. "Boss, we found the man who killed Yamamoto Takeshi."

_'Takeshi's killer.'_ His thoughts rang. He listened silently.

"He's hiding out in a warehouse nearby, with a small amount of survivors from La Famiglia Dal Basso." The random subordinate said. "It'd be best for a member of Varia to go, it's a suicide mission."

_'Perfect.'_ Hayato stormed into the tenth's office. "Tenth, I'm going."

"Hayato, you're not going. You'll die." Tsuna stated, in a very boss-like tone.

"I hope I do. I'm going on that mission." Hayato demanded, his eyes darkening.

"Hayato as your boss, I'm saying no. You have to forget."

Hayato's eyes widened, "F-forget!? I CAN'T JUST FORGET!" he growled, standing to look his boss in the eye. Rage consumed him, and it was far too late when he'd realized, he punched Tsuna.

Tsuna gasped, clutching his now bleeding nose. "H-Hayato…" His voice was low. He knew his storm was heavily suffering and sighed, a mental battle raging within him. "A-alright, but Hayato… promise me you'll be careful."

"Juudaime… I don't make promises I can't keep." Hayato left his boss' office, heading back for his bedroom.

_Hayato what are you doing? You'll die on that mission!_

He sat on the bed, dropping his head and sighing deeply. "I'm losing it…"

_Hayato **LISTEN** to me!_

"Why? You're gone… You left me… Oh look, I'm talking to myself now."

_Don't go on that mission!_

"Why not? Maybe if I die, I'll see you, and even if I can't, the pain will go away." The silverette smiled bitterly. Damned his memory of that voice was so perfect, it sounded just like him.

_You dying won't bring me back, and you know this._

"So? It'll take all the pain away."

_I don't want you to die… don't go._

An entity appeared before Hayato, it was Takeshi. "This can't be real."

"_You can see me now_?!" it yelled, tears forming in its eyes. The apparition sobbed. "Please don't go... I don't want you to die...please!"

"I love you, that's why I'm going. I have to go, I can't live in a world where you aren't here." Hayato closed his eyes, his own tears spilling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry, Takeshi."

"I love you, too." The entity attempted to embrace him, but it was no use, his arms just passed through. "I have to go now... Guess you're gonna go then."

Hayato nodded, he felt the urge to bury his face in his lover's neck and chest, but he knew he'd never get the chance again. "G...goodbye... Takeshi..." he smiled sadly as the translucent figure of his lover disappeared. At that moment, there wasn't anyone on the earth feeling as much pain as Hayato was. "The final goodbye is that hardest." His sob was barely a whisper.

* * *

A few hours later, after many tears had been shed, it was time for Hayato to leave. He ran outside, getting into his car and speeding off to the warehouse the family was hiding at.

The place was falling apart. Hayato knew they'd chosen such a dangerous arena so that whoever had to fight them would die too. There was no one outside when he arrived and snuck in. He followed the noises into the basement of the building. He knew he wouldn't be able to use explosives down here, and not too much flame arrow either, they'd cornered him. "Hahaha, look who it is, the bitch of that Vongola fucker we killed." There were two lightning guardians and a rain guardian.

Hayato immediately drew his weapon and began attacking, starting a short battle.

Minutes passed by.

Hayato was injured.

An hour now, maybe.

He had the one who killed Takeshi ready to be destroyed, but the building was in bad condition. He had a choice, let him go and survive, or kill him, and die.

He fired.

Pillars crashed down around him, one landing on his back, sending him to the ground. He screamed in pain. It was consuming him. More pillars, wood, stone, concrete, everything collapsed.

And then, there was finally peace for Hayato.

* * *

By the time Vongola got there, it was too late, they'd lost their storm. Ryohei and Tsuna were the first ones there, they were the first to find Hayato's battered, beaten body, clutching a small blue box in his left hand. The Vongola Rain box. A light rain began to fall.

* * *

_And though clouds masked the sky,_

_And mist blocked out the sun,_

_While lightning threatened to strike,_

_As the rain fell,_

_The storm had finally found his peace._


End file.
